Brad Donohue was never much of a looker; he was never told he had the “It” factor; he didn’t have much of a personality or sense of humor; and to boot, he had very little in the way of contacts. But Brad had a dream and a preeminent ambition to be an actor. Moreover, Brad wanted to be a successful actor. He wanted to act alongside the greats and hold his own; he wanted to wow people with the strength of his dramatic performances; and he wanted to be respected in an industry that gave out props sparingly. So, Brad set about getting headshots and auditioning whenever the opportunity arose. But nothing much happened, as it is customary to pay your dues long and hard in the entertainment industry.

But one day Brad walked into a commercial casting room to audition for an IBS national beer ad, and all of that changed. As he entered, the conventional audition room seemed to transmogrify into an ancient, dark Victorian theater. The casting director introduced himself with a thick Eastern European accent as Mister Apollyon of the Arch Fiend Casting Company. Unfortunately, Brad hadn’t rehearsed very well, and he screwed the audition every which way but Tuesday. But Apollyon generously offered to help Brad in his honorable quest of clapping the boards with the best of them. And that day, Brad Donohue sold his soul to the devil in return for a successful acting career. However, a year went by and Brad hadn’t gotten the results he desired, so he took his dissatisfaction to the one and only Mister Apollyon.

“How many callbacks have you had this year?” Apollyon asked.


“How many avails?”


“And how many have you booked?“ the devil questioned.

“One,” Brad replied.

The devil sprouted vicious horns and spread his enormous dark-blue and black wings. “Guess what, Brad? That is a successful career!”

Brad scratched his head and scoured his brain.

“No, no, I was thinking about the red carpet, acting face to face with Angelina, and ya know, a house in the hills,” Brad replied.

“My man,” the devil laughed. “You have got to adjust your expectations.”

Consequently, Brad did adjust his expectations. He enrolled in class three nights a week, networked relentlessly, and began working at his craft as if it were his career. Brad finally started to get the results he desired, and is now a regular on a hit cop drama. Trust me, you probably see him on the TV every week. And, oh yeah, Brad got out of his contract by stabbing the devil in the heart with his own tail–a trick he learned from a Comic Con event.

Happy Halloween!